Anxiety Rant| When things get rough.

Hey Bookworms.

So it’s been a while since I did my last Discussion post or post on Anxiety and I really needed to get some things off my chest. To do a rant and just get the feelings that have been plaguing me out there and to do an update for you all.

For those who may be new to my blog, I have struggled with my Anxiety for years and I finally went to my doctor last year and was placed on medication. In terms of how that’s going months later… well things are better but by no means great. Sadly there is no cure for Anxiety. I’m on a small dose of medication and whilst I managed to attend university with little to no physical symptoms during my final year, now I’ve finished things feel back to square one. Maybe it’s because I feel more pressure and stress trying to work full time and figure out my life when I have zero clue?

Despite having dealt with the Stigma surrounding Mental Health as a whole for years I’m still so defeated by it. I’m so sick of hearing ‘just do it, and you’ll be fine’ or ‘its all in your head.’ I wish people could understand what is going on in my head, the strong pains I get in my stomach as well as the sickness etc when my Anxiety kicks in. How it effects every aspect of my life not only in terms of leaving the house and going out but from the clothes I wear to what I eat. I really want to be normal so bad and be able to travel and do the things my friends do but I can’t. My biggest fear I had before seeking help was that i’d be admitting that I wasn’t normal? This is what the Stigma surrounding mental health does to you. What even is normal? Who decides what is normal? Yet here I am begging to be normal.

When I blog I feel like i’m the most real me. I feel like there’s people out there that understand me better. I have friends that truly do understand and have helped save me but even they don’t know the true extent.Whenever I see someone online expressing their pain I want to hug them and send them messages to let them know they’re not alone. Like I feel so often.

I’m sick of being told i’m boring for not wanting to go out drinking and be put in situations that make my anxiety worse. I’m sick of being told how because I don’t go out i’ll be alone? That I need to go out every weekend to meet a boy because I can’t survive without a boyfriend? I’m just sick of it all.  Although my family know I have anxiety I still get questioned about everything and comments. I want schools to teach about mental health and for people to have a world where they don’t have to feel alone and scared like I do. But what steps do we take to do that?

The Book Community is something that I think has honestly saved me. It’s a place I feel more me than the real me because if I show people the real me where I actually live then the judging starts for liking to read or even having anxiety. Everything.
I even get anxiety about the book community. When I leave comments, tweet you I feel like I’m forcing myself onto you. That people hate me and are like ‘this girl is so annoying please leave.’ My anxiety makes me question everything.

I don’t really know what I expected for this post? I’ve been keeping so much bottled inside me that today thing’s just bubbled over and I needed to let it out.
I love you all. Thank you for letting me vent. If you ever need to talk then I am always here. If you want any posts on my journey with Anxiety please do not hesitate to ask. 

SIGN OFF

 

 

 

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23 thoughts on “Anxiety Rant| When things get rough.

  1. I sincerely hope everything gets better for you. From the bottom of my heart. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what you’re experiencing and I can just hope that, at the end of the day, you can find the happiness you deserve. You’re not boring for not doing what you’re friends want you to do – that’s never the case. What they say doesn’t matter; it’s you and your opinion that matter. And as long as you think you’re doing what’s right for you, you’re genuinely doing what’s right for you. The absolute best of luck in the future 😊 You’re strong, sweet, and inspirational, and I hope you never forget that ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your such sweet words Elena, I appreciate them so much. This community has always been so understanding and I wish I had you all where I live. I feel lighter today without having all those feelings inside me, its so nice to get them out and talk to people who understand and don’t throw comments that ‘its all in my head’ at me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You are normal, and here you are in a safe place to vent and let everything out of your system. I totally understand your feelings, anxiety has been with me for so long now. There is no cure, but we do learn how to cope and face the bad days. I hate blank statements saying we should just snap out of it, or it’ll pass. It gets better, it takes a lot of efforts, it’s a burden, but you are strong. Did you congratulate yourself for talking about it on a post? 🙂 You should. Sometimes we just need to get it out of our system. Remember, you are not alone 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much ❤
      I haven't congratulated myself, for a moment I wasn't going to write anything because my mind was telling me it was stupid but I feel lighter today. I needed a cry and a rant just to get my feelings out. I hope your good with your anxiety now and things aren't rough on you. ❤

      Like

  3. OH, Hannah, you ARE normal, anxiety is VALID and it’s real even if some people still have the guts to think that telling you to get over yourself and do things will actually make you change. You are so normal and it’s actually good that you are able to write things down, share how you feel. I know that, for me, it always feels good to rant about everything, always makes me feel a bit lighter. I’m always here whenever you need to do that or talk, always ❤
    You're definitely not alone in here, both in the blogging community and in your life, remember that. Step by step you can do this, you have overcome so many big things already, and going through university is no little thing to do, you're AWESOME, always remember that ❤
    Sending you lots of love. I'm always here for you, here, on twitter by DMs, anything really. You're not alone, I know what anxiety feels like, it really sucks but you are normal and one of a kind and really inspirational. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your such kind words Marie. I feel so much lighter today after writing these thoughts down and releasing them. I try to remember Anxiety is something so many people deal with but I don’t have anybody close to me who does so I feel so alone sometimes. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Love you, Hannah ♥

    I hate the stigma that surrounds mental illness so much. It’s so frustrating when people think this is just an excuse or that there’s a magic cure. It makes it so hard sometimes.

    I even struggle with interacting people online and blogging has definitely helped me overcome that. I’m really thankful for the community especially when I find people who I can relate to and /get/ it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lauren ❤
      I'm so glad blogging has helped you overcome part of your struggle with interacting online. It brought us close together which YAAY. You're one of my fave people. When things get rough for you please remember how much you have helped me get through my struggles too. ❤

      Like

  5. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, you’re so brave to do so. I also suffer from anxiety (Panic Disorder) and it’s honestly such a hassle explaining it to people. I’m glad the community has been here for you when needed, a strong support system is always great. I wish you the best Hannah!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Cam! 100% explaining it to people is so hard and alot of people get that look on their face when they think ‘why doesn’t she just do it and she’ll be fine.’ It’s especially hard explaining to work as well. When people comment how they also suffer from it, its another reminder that i’m not alone. I hope your doing well with your anxiety and things aren’t bad for you, if you ever need to talk them I am here 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sending love. You’re not alone in your struggles. Although I admit it often feels that way when the people around us don’t understand. I’m glad your rant helped to ease the pressure. Your posts & comments are always welcome.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You are SO not alone!!! Everybody experiences anxiety on some degree, and I hate the natural isolation it brings when others cannot fully understand that. Just know that this is a battle worth fighting. Oftentimes, people who have anxiety tend to be very compassionate because they seek to understand others due to wanting to be understood. While it can be challenging to manage, it can also produce such strong qualities. Hold your head high, dear ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement. They mean so much and the fact I have read them today whilst I catch up on my posts is perfect because i’m struggling today and really needed to read this. Thank you for your support. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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